Tuesday, October 12, 2010
sleeps with one eye open
I did 3 drawings today. I'm listening to Joan Baez sing Diamonds and Rust. It makes me want to relate at least a little where my art comes from. About 4 years ago I had a very different style of art. I was trying to imitate things like disney and in my opinion failing miserably. I had been seeing a wonderful analyst for about two years. I thought that I was opening up. That I was saying things that had meaning. I didn't know that I was asleep psychologically. I rarely drew. I think I had a hiatus of something like two or more years. Never drew for fun just for school.
Then I had something tragic happen. A relationship crumbled. The person that I relied on for all my self esteem was gone. I know it sounds pretty pathetic and it was in a way. I crashed and burned. I found that I was waking up though. To what really could be my artistic nature through this tragedy. My style of art did a complete 180. I was drawing now from my dreams. From what inspired me. My art started to take on the ability for me to get my feelings out on paper. Be that joy or sadness it was now an outlet. I know it might sound kinda metaphysical but really sometimes these events that you think would sink you no matter how tough you are..turn out to be what wakes you.
I'm grateful for that tragedy. For the way I had to rebuild. I'm not who I once was.
The above image I drew today. She sleeps with one eye open because she fears a broken heart.